"Observations of an expat raised in Asia, living in America, and having an English fiance"
The English are known to be a polite lot, even under testing cirumstances. They are slow to gripe, and when they do, they catch themselves and quickly end their mutterings with "oh well, mustn't grumble". They apologize under almost ANY circumstance, whether they offend, or are offended. And it's not that they're being timid. It's more that they loathe to complain and make a scene, or call attention to themselves by getting into any form of controversy. Sometimes I can tell that this tolerance comes from a place of being "patronizing," a feeling of "noblese oblige", of having to take the role of the magnanimous, at least as far as they can. (I should know that when I see it. After all, I myself come from a race that holds the middle kingdom with the rest of the world moving along the peripheries). And it's not just a nuance of language. It's all borne out of culture. While Americans tend to express their feelings with flair and the works, the Brits are champions of understatement.
Scenario One: On a nice clear day, you walk into your favorite coffee shop. The barrista greets you "hi, how are you doing today?". You smile back and, no matter how bad things are going, say "Good, good. I'm good.
The British response to the same barrista: "Hmmm... well, not too bad. Thank you." No matter how great things are going.
Scenario Two: You have an appointment with a colleague to meet at 9:00 in the morning at the corner of Broadway and Halsted. You wait, and wait, and wait. 30 minutes later you get a call from the guy saying he will not be able to make it because he woke up with an awful headache (which you know reeks of "hangover"). How would you feel about the whole frickin' futile wait? "Royally pissed. The inconsiderate bastard!"
The British response:
Scenario Three: You're standing in a looooong line waiting to get into a supposedly blockbuster movie right behind a group of extremely, annoyingly loud, attention-calling, teenagers with the kind of vocabulary that soap-and-water can't clean, shoving at each other in their idea of fun. You turn to your British partner and whisper "I am thisclose to strangling these *&^%$$#@@....". Mr. England's eyes darts toward them quickly, then shifting back to you, he says in rueful tone : "Right. Quite special, aren't they?".
p.s., The above scenarios REALLY happened, with slight variations, to protect the obvious. :)
Photo: WINDOW to the Windy City. "The Bean" (real name: "Cloud Gate" by Anish Kapoor, British sculptor) at Millennium Park, on Michigan Avenue, Chicago.
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1 comment:
You know, when I read this yesterday, I couldn't argue with most of what you said. What you observe is probably the reason why so many Americans still admire the English (to some extent). But something was bothering, and when I woke up this morning I realized what it was: the journalists.
Here, it seems like our journalists try really hard to be "professional" and want to trip up their subjects through cleverness, never an outright confrontation. The British journalists, though, seem ready to get into fistfights with their subjects before the first question has been asked. Honestly, many times I'm rooting for them, such as the time an interviewer on the BBC (as played on NPR) practically backhanded Colin Powell and just about demanded an apology for his role in convincing the world to go to war in Iraq. While many journalists here may be thinking the same thing, I don't think I have ever seen an American journalist handle someone that way (then again, I don't watch Fox news).
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