Inner Wrestles

In a few weeks I should be beginning my life in the UK. I am not at all sure I am there yet. In fact, mentally, I couldn't be farther from that place. I am living in the here and now, finishing all that I can at work.... and I know C is nervous that this will delay my going over. But I do need to keep my priorities straight and do my part of this bargain -- beginning with moving over. I hope I do not feel isolated when I get there. I will be applying to a US Immigration Law practice in London. I hope that somehow keeps me busy and "employed" in the UK somehow. I also look forward to coming back to the US now and then for work. My wish is that eventually he can come back and we can settle in the US where I can have a full practice. I think Americans are more welcoming of the Brits than vice versa. Well, I don't just think, I KNOW. And I wonder why. haha.

Green, with Envy

Got my green card yesterday. The entire process took just under 7 months. Which is quick considering that I got requests for evidences for the advance parole, the I-140and the I-485 as well. We got married in the nick of time it seems; and now as I try to foist myself to the UK, I am going to drag him to this side of the ocean as well. It's interesting how "international" we are. But it's all good really. I am blessed, truly.

Jump Starting

After a loooong more than a year gone from this blog, I am back. Determined to jumpstart this, although admittedly I came in to delete this blog. But while reading through my old posts I thought to myself "hmmm.... do I want to forget that at some point in my life these were my thoughts?" and I decided to just keep this and turn a new chapter. I may well even change the name of this blog.

But anyhoo, we're on new beginnings beginning with the fact that I am now, and finally, someone's wife. Although I had initially struggled, hemmed and haw'd as to how being "grounded" and "bounded" with someone would feel.... thinking that I may recent living in England when I love Chicago, and having always to deal with someone's schedule, someone's thoughts and feelings, someone's plans, someone's habits... I am actually finally now at peace. I am married to a person who I respect, who I love, who makes me laugh, and who, more and more, I am seeing puts my happiness above most things and above his own. Because I see that, I am less scared and now I know that our lives ahead is going to fun, exciting , full of travel and a colorful cultural exchange.

So here's to more of my secret writings. :)

Art Works

I am seriously thinking of setting up an artsier web blog with the stuff I do.
The only thing is, between lawyering and all this nonsense, I have no time for nonsense. When the fact is, nonsensing is really the fun part. Why do I always need to be busying myself with the serious parts of life when I should be taking chances, enjoying life, doing crazy things, being irresponsible but free? SERIOUSLY.

Getting Colder

It's almost like a trick the weather is playing on us here in the Midwest.
One day is dead hot and the next day, I swear, it jumps to way freezing.
This is not exactly "fair" because my body (or most anybody's) isn't yet geared up for this harsh change.
Anyway, this weekend I drive down to Kennett, -- 6 hours away and still the middle of nowhere. I miss Chicago and am looking forward to getting the work done here and going back home to my apartment, and sorry to say -- some sophistication. This REALLY is cow town, USA.

Getting Closer and Closer

I cannot believe that we've shelved our wedding plans more than a year ago, and how the journey back to where we are now. It's really strange, and definitely gives me goosebumps. But if there is one thing I've learned in life, it is that you never know how Life will turn, and that in Love, there are no rules. The best relationships today can take a plunge for the worse tomorrow, and the worse of times can actually spin to something totally different in one swoosh. It's just really strange. So anyway, C and I are back and I think now the relationship is much steadier -- especially in that ONE area which really brought about the problem in the first place -- WHERE in the world are we settling down. This side of the pond? or that?
It's going to be heartbreaking for me to leave the US snd try a new life in UK. Don't get me wrong, the UK is a wonderful country. I love so many things about it. The history, art, culture, the way of life, the beautiful gardens, the stoic dignity of their people and the cool, artistic ways. I love them. I love C so much more now that I have been to the UK three times. But the only thing is, I will have to adjust again to an entirely new lifestyle. Very different from what I am used to. And worse is that the British sometimes can think you weird, but not say anything... just look at you with disdain. I also don't know that I will be able to get a good job while there, and if I cannot keep busy, I may become sad or depressed. And worse, there will be no friends or family around for a support system. I will only have C, and he will suddenly have to deal with me as a "heavy object" -- which I do not want to happen.
However, that said, I cannot imagine my life without this man. And I know whether we move to one side of the pond or the other, one of us is going to have to make a major adjustment. Personally though, I think it is going to be easier for Brits to adjust to American life, than Americans to adjust to British life. It is always less stressful to move from restricted to free, than the other way around.
I am off to bed now. I miss C very much tonight and I am already rambling. This is not good. Blogs shouldn't be like this.

Second Wind (and Elizabeth First)

I am determined to catch a second wind for this blog. Let's see if it can be done with the schedule I keep and the plans C and I are to put underway. If I knew more about page designing I definitely would want to be able to play around with the design of this. But I am not there yet, although I have a book from which to begin to understand the process.

But anyway.

On to another topic, -- I am excited to find that Cate Blanchett is playing Elizabeth I again in film, "Elizabeth The Golden Age". I understand that this is going to be done by the same Director of "Elizabeth I". Geoffrey Rush reprises his role as Sir Francis Walsingham, spymaster to Elizabeth I and one of the founders of modern Intelligence. In Elizabeth I, Rush wore the role so well -- or was it the other way around? To me, he was the heart of the heart of the movie. For it was he who propped the Virgin Queen when her heart softened, who cordoned off the pretenders (and even the true), and who was her extra pair of eyes, ears and brains. He was the ruthless extension of that ruling side of the Queen. He was mysterious, intriguing, and shadowy. That I like. And he was focused and loyal. That I love.

I absolutely adore Elizabeth I. She is one of my historic idols -- how she as a young woman, was able to make so much of herself and to inspire and unite her people. And most of all, to love them and put them foremost in her agenda and in her life. Now THAT is a woman.

If you come across this page, you might want to view the website for the movie at http://www.elizabeththegoldenage.com/.